words_from_my_heart_novel book

WORDS FROM MY HEART... FOR YOU “The Story My Heart Wanted to Tell...” • • • A Five-Year Love Story & Birthday Keepsake Written with Devotion by KASHINATH Dedicated to His Beloved BANGARA • • • “Every word, every line, every memory in this book is true.”WORDS FROM MY HEART... FOR YOU A FIVE-YEAR LOVE STORY — 2 — CONTENTS & CHAPTERS • • • CHAPTER 1 — Dedication and Foreword: To My Bangara Page 2 CHAPTER 2 — The First Meeting: Love Born Without Realizing It Page 3 CHAPTER 3 — The Battle of the Mind: Should I Love... or Not? Page 4 CHAPTER 4 — My Heart That Lost to Your Love Page 5 CHAPTER 5 — The Golden Chapter: Unforgettable Memories of the First Two Years Page 6 CHAPTER 6 — The Days I Lived to See You Page 7 CHAPTER 7 — Togetherness, Separation and Nights of Tears Page 8 CHAPTER 8 — You Are Not Just My Love... You Are My Life Page 9 CHAPTER 9 — The Promise I Gave... Until My Last Breath Page 10 CHAPTER 10 — The Last Page... But Not the End of Love Page 11 “Love is easy to express, but bringing the heart down onto paper is not that easy... This is the story of an ordinary boy opening his heart to the girl he loves more than his own life.”WORDS FROM MY HEART... FOR YOU A FIVE-YEAR LOVE STORY — 3 — CHAPTER 1 Dedication and Foreword: To My Bangara • • • “Some gifts are given with hands... some gifts are bought with money... but some gifts are born only from the heart. This book is such a gift.” My beloved Bangara... In just a few days, another beautiful year of your life will begin. August 30... this day is not merely a date on the calendar. For me, it is the day when the most precious gift God gave me came to this earth. Every year, whenever your birthday came, I used to think of giving you something different. Sometimes roses, sometimes chocolates, sometimes pens, sometimes a small gift that you liked... Whenever I gave you all these things, the smile that appeared on your face gave me the happiness of having conquered the whole world. But this year, what you asked for was different. When you said, 'Write down the love you have had for me from the beginning... every feeling that has been in your heart... and give it to me as a book...', I could not speak for a few moments. Love is easy to express, but bringing the heart down onto paper is not that easy. Trying to confine my love in words is like trying to fill the ocean into a small vessel. Still, your wish is a command for me. That is why this book exists. This is not the imagination of a writer. These are not the decorative words of a poet. This is the story of an ordinary boy opening his heart to the girl he loves more than his own life. Every line you read here, every word, every memory is true. There is no lie in this, no drama, no exaggeration. I am telling you exactly what my heart felt at every moment. Our love is now five years old. Five years is not merely a calculation of time—it is five years of memories, smiles, tears, waiting, dreams, and unwavering love. A tree does not give shade immediately after it is planted. It needs time, rain, sunlight, wind, and hardship. Then its roots go deep into the earth. After that, no matter how strong the storm is, it may shake... but it will not break. Our love is like that. While reading this book, remember just one thing: this is not merely ink on paper. There are wounds on my heart, happinesses, dreams, and the story of my life filled with your name. Do not search for the writer anywhere—search for your Kashinath in every line. • • •WORDS FROM MY HEART... FOR YOU A FIVE-YEAR LOVE STORY — 4 — CHAPTER 2 The First Meeting: Love Born Without Realizing It • • • “Some meetings simply happen in life... but some meetings completely change the direction of our lives.” The day I saw you for the first time was one such day. I do not know whether the sky shone in a different colour that day, or whether the wind sang a different tune. But one thing is certain: after that day, my life was never the same again. At that time, you were just an ordinary girl in my life. I too tried to see you that way, telling myself, 'I am just like everyone else...' But my heart did not listen. Every time I saw you, a strange peace would descend within me. If you were near me, the day felt better. If I could not see you, I felt as though I had lost something. At that time, I did not even know that what I was feeling had a name called 'love.' I thought it might simply be care. But today, when I look back, I understand that care was the first step of love. If you smiled, I smiled too. If you were silent, I wanted to know why. If you were happy, my heart celebrated too. On one side, my mind warned me: 'It is wrong... do not become this close...' On the other side, my heart insisted: 'Talk to her for a little longer...' Every day I was torn between those two voices. Love does not arise in a single moment. It falls into the heart every day like one drop of rain... and one day, without realizing it, becomes an ocean. In the beginning, it was a little care. Then a habit. Then an attraction. And finally, it became the meaning of my life. Today I will answer directly the question you once asked: 'When did you start loving me?' I cannot give a single date for that question, because my love for you was not born on one particular day. You walked into my life without realizing it, filled my days without realizing it, settled into my dreams without realizing it, and became part of my prayers without realizing it. One day when I woke up, you were everywhere in my heart. • • •WORDS FROM MY HEART... FOR YOU A FIVE-YEAR LOVE STORY — 5 — CHAPTER 3 The Battle of the Mind: Should I Love... or Not? • • • “A person fighting with the outside world is normal... but fighting with one's own mind is extremely difficult.” In those days, I fought a battle every single day. There were only two opponents in that battle: one was my mind, and the other was my heart. Both belonged to me, but both spoke completely differently. My heart said: 'Talk to her a little longer... look at her smile for a little longer... your happiness is in her happiness...' But my mind warned: 'This is not right... stop... put limits on your feelings...' At that time, I tried to stay away from you. Many times I ordered my mind to forget you, telling myself to talk to her less and turn my mind elsewhere. But does love ever listen? When I closed my eyes, I could see your face. When I closed my ears, I could hear your voice. The more I tried to forget someone, the deeper their memory settled in my heart. I repeatedly questioned myself: 'Kashinath, why are you doing this? Is this right? Where will this lead your life?' But there was no simple answer, because love has no academic answers—it is simply a lived experience. Every decision I made to stay away melted the moment I saw you the next day. When you smiled and spoke, all the walls I had built collapsed one by one. Slowly, I began to understand: I was not searching for you—my heart itself was searching for you. I was not just remembering you—my breath itself was remembering you. One day, I accepted that I had lost before my heart. To move away from you, I would have had to move away from my own heart, and that was impossible. My destiny itself chose you for my life. • • •WORDS FROM MY HEART... FOR YOU A FIVE-YEAR LOVE STORY — 6 — CHAPTER 4 My Heart That Lost to Your Love • • • “I had asked for nothing... but you gave me love. I had expected nothing... but you became hope in my life.” Sometimes life places two roads before us: one chosen by the mind, the other chosen by the heart. For a long time, I tried to listen to my mind, but the voice of my heart became stronger day by day. One day I understood clearly: I was not trying to move away from you—I was running because I was afraid of losing you. One chapter of my life had ended in pain, but that pain brought me to you. Sometimes God takes away what we have in our hands because He wants to give us something far more precious in its place. When I was broken, you lifted me. When I was silent, you became my voice. When I had forgotten how to smile, your smile brought light back into my life. There was one quality of yours that I cherished deeply: the respect you had for me. Many people love in today's world, but very few truly respect. You never tried to change me; you tried to understand me. You listened to my words and even listened to my silence. When I asked myself what it was that I liked about you, my mind answered: 'Not because of how she is... but because of how she loves me.' The moment I heard that answer, my eyes filled with tears, because for the first time I understood the true depth of love. Love means making sure tears do not come into their eyes, being their courage when they are tired, being their belief in victory when they lose, and understanding their heart when they are silent. Losing before my heart was not a defeat—it was the most beautiful victory of my life. From that day, only one decision remained in my heart: 'I must never hurt this girl under any circumstances. If she lives smiling, that is the victory of my life.' • • •WORDS FROM MY HEART... FOR YOU A FIVE-YEAR LOVE STORY — 7 — CHAPTER 5 The Golden Chapter: Unforgettable Memories of the First Two Years • • • “Some years pass away in life... but only some years become life itself.” If someone asked me to choose the most precious memories from our five years together, my answer without a moment's hesitation would be: 'Our first two years.' During those two years, we did not build huge complex dreams or worry about life's heavy trials—there was only pure, selfless, innocent love. Whenever you asked for something, bringing it to you was my ultimate happiness. Before your smile, money had no value, time had no value, distance had no value. If you were happy, that itself was my entire reward. Those roses I gave you were not merely flowers—in every petal of every rose, there was a hidden message saying 'I love you.' The pens I gave you carried a silent dream that one day you would write my name with your hand. The chocolates brought childlike happiness to your face. But the most precious gifts were the ones you gave me: your handwritten notes. To others they may look like small pieces of paper, but to me they are the most precious letters of my life. I pressed those notes against my chest and wondered, 'Does she really love me this much?' The places where we stood and talked became the temple of our love. Even today, when I pass along that road, it feels as though you are standing beside me, as though I can hear your voice in the wind. For others it is an ordinary street, but for me, it holds our smiles, our silence, our dreams, and the breath of our first love. • • •WORDS FROM MY HEART... FOR YOU A FIVE-YEAR LOVE STORY — 8 — CHAPTER 6 The Days I Lived to See You • • • “Some people's days move with the hands of the clock... but the days of people in love move with waiting.” During those days, my morning did not begin with an alarm clock, but with your memory. As soon as I opened my eyes, the first thought was: 'Will I be able to see her today?' That expectation was my morning prayer. Throughout the day, no matter how much work I had, you were always in one corner of my mind. Checking my phone for a small SMS, waiting for your call—those moments were not tiring waits; they were festivals of my heart. Your single 'Hello' would make me forget the fatigue of the entire day. I found so many reasons just to see you. If I knew you were coming to the temple, I would reach early and wait. Seeing you gave greater peace to my heart than anything else. When you walked to college, I followed at a distance, counting every one of your steps. Some might call it madness, but those who love know it is the language of love. At college programs or village festivals, people watched the event, but I watched only you. People watched the lights, while I watched the glow on your face. True love does not decrease with time—it becomes deeper with memories. The days I lived to see you are now precious memories, but those memories remain the very breath of my love. • • •WORDS FROM MY HEART... FOR YOU A FIVE-YEAR LOVE STORY — 9 — CHAPTER 7 Togetherness, Separation and Nights of Tears • • • “If you ask me what the most beautiful moments in love are, I will say togetherness. If you ask what the most difficult are, I will say separation.” Our journey contained both happiness and pain, laughter and tears, but my love for you never changed. Every meeting was a festival. When I stood beside you, it felt as though time had stopped, but when the moment came to say goodbye, even seconds felt like ages. In our quietest moments, silence itself spoke. You looked into my eyes, I looked into yours, and a thousand conversations happened without a single word. After every meeting came separation. When you went home and I went my way, my feet moved forward, but my mind remained with you. On days when we could not talk, I felt empty inside. I would check my silent phone a hundred times at night, re-read your old messages, look at your photographs, and listen to your voice notes over and over again. Separation brought pain, but it also revealed the depth of our love. One can live without seeing someone, but one cannot live without remembering them. Distance is merely a test that makes true love stronger. In the first year, you were my care. In the second, my habit. By the third year, my necessity. By the fourth, my dream. And by the fifth year, you had become my life itself. • • •WORDS FROM MY HEART... FOR YOU A FIVE-YEAR LOVE STORY — 10 — CHAPTER 8 You Are Not Just My Love... You Are My Life • • • “She is more important than breath itself.” When I asked myself how important you were to me, my heart answered: 'She is more important than breath.' From that day, even calling you 'love' did not feel enough, because love is a feeling, but you have become my entire existence. The depth of the ocean can be measured and the distance of the sky calculated, but there is no measurement for your place in my heart. If given a choice between my life and you, I would not hesitate for a moment, because life without you is not life at all. You are not merely the girl I love—you are my life partner, my companion, the light of my home, the future mother of my children, and the partner who will hold my hand until my last breath. In every dream of building a house, standing before God, or facing life's triumphs and trials, you are the only one beside me. I need success, a home, and respect, but without you, none of them hold any meaning. • • •